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Enslaved

Offline (the 05/22/2014 at 8:33pm) | Search for a member

Enslaved

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 11130
  • Number of comments : 5646
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.

Hello me ... Meet the real me

Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.

Love-Hate-Sex-Pain
It's complicating me sometimes

I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Enslaved's page activity

Visits<b>Tigre5012</b> - one hour ago<b>VladDrago</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - 23 hours ago<b>ramonica</b> - yesterday at 1:17pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - yesterday at 11:35pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - yesterday at 10:07pm<b>NineInchSacks</b> - yesterday at 5:10pm<b>Googolman</b> - yesterday at 4:49pm<b>ThisIsSoOriginal</b> - yesterday at 4:48pm<b>BCguy3</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:36pm<b>screenager5</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:57pm<b>DarkSaul</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Advait07</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:26pm<b>charmedamethyst</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:12pm<b>SkoomaKi</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:19pm<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:00pm<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:59am<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:29am

Liked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:19pm

Enslaved's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Enslaved's badges

Enslaved's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60707) - you deserved it (13783)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50312) - you deserved it (5992)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30352) - you deserved it (33295)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61589) - you deserved it (13442)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63470) - you deserved it (13976)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25497) - you deserved it (128456)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (16645)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45589) - you deserved it (6528)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48180) - you deserved it (4947)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23562) - you deserved it (42364)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35799) - you deserved it (3961)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML

#20568124
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45303) - you deserved it (4694)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (8309) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40079) - you deserved it (5339)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42681) - you deserved it (5385)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)



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