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Enslaved

Offline (the 05/22/2014 at 8:33pm) | Search for a member

Enslaved

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 11222
  • Number of comments : 5654
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.

Hello me ... Meet the real me

Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.

Love-Hate-Sex-Pain
It's complicating me sometimes

I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Enslaved's page activity

Visits<b>PancakeSlap</b> - one hour ago<b>Dark_Zekrom</b> - 2 hours ago<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - 6 hours ago<b>SumthinNUrM0uth</b> - 10 hours ago<b>qlortin</b> - 14 hours ago<b>nattlecakes</b> - yesterday at 3:33pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:20am<b>jagma</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:38pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:15pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:45am<b>Mads_1234</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:41am<b>LibertyLife20</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:12am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:27pm<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:14pm<b>VladDrago</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:11pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:36pm<b>ramonica</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:17pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:35pm

Liked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:19pm

Enslaved's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Enslaved's badges

Enslaved's favorite FMLs

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46137) - you deserved it (2799)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (14700)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45803) - you deserved it (4136)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (3501)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38823) - you deserved it (8198)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61259) - you deserved it (7207)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54347) - you deserved it (12187)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44039) - you deserved it (3084)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37196) - you deserved it (8559)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49648) - you deserved it (7201)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

#20827542
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61416) - you deserved it (4590)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

#20818899
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55251) - you deserved it (8258)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42917) - you deserved it (20661)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43740) - you deserved it (5815)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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