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About Enslaved : Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you.
Hello me ... Meet the real me
Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning.
Love-Hate-Sex-Pain
It's complicating me sometimes
I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Fingerprints everywhere
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6191) - you deserved it (1432)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7529) - you deserved it (929)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I gave a homeless guy a dollar. Instead of a simple "Thank you" I got an unwanted hug. I can't wash the pee smell off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14441) - you deserved it (3649)
On 04/30/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5068) - you deserved it (3722)
On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1969) - you deserved it (7077)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5931) - you deserved it (721)
On 04/07/2012 at 12:32am - animals - by day001313 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3884) - you deserved it (20392)
On 04/03/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Wannabees (woman) - Canada
Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2864) - you deserved it (7079)
On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13898) - you deserved it (4227)
On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States
Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2973) - you deserved it (13899)
On 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm - misc - by waitwhat (man) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16533) - you deserved it (10401)
On 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Lilah - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (1477)
On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to a great concert. Against all odds, I got to meet the band. All I had for them to autograph was a flyer protesting their concert that was given to me on the way in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18014) - you deserved it (3489)
On 01/07/2012 at 1:48am - misc - by elijahrobrt - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (2181)
On 01/01/2012 at 12:41am - love - by upsetandannoyed - United States (New York)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14776) - you deserved it (2208)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
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