Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

EduJav321

Search for a member

EduJav321
  • Town/Country : Houston, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 February 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2464
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 43 posted

About EduJav321 : Dude, ok, I'm College guy from Texas; I came to the US a few years ago and I'm actually Venezuelan.
I love parties, animals, and art. I also breakdance, Shuffle, Jumpstyle, and Electro; I like having fun, crazy times with my friends, but I also am a very smart and good student and overall reliable person.
I can be very annoying when I want to, and very sarcastic also; but I'm cool, if I do say so myself

EduJav321's last visitors

Dr0n3IwtumnXPhoenixFiremattrdvlalambelljarsDippinGrizzly907Narttu

EduJav321's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of EduJav321's badges

EduJav321's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (4441)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

#19348653
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (2568)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

#19348110
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (3210)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by user210 (woman) - United States

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

#19345098
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13448) - you deserved it (23877)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (11379)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20845) - you deserved it (2705)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20915) - you deserved it (7627)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (5197)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43692) - you deserved it (4210)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML

#19330413
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20573) - you deserved it (2002)

On 03/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by badadvise (man) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

#19324348
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21960) - you deserved it (5619)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (5777)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

#19321337
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21041) - you deserved it (2697)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

#19321337
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21041) - you deserved it (2697)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

#19320303
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (1762)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: