Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 08/22/2014 at 6:23am) | Search for a member
About DynamicDave : I'm here to enjoy the wittiness of others and occasionally contribute something worthwhile myself. I'm big on grammar, so I tend to sympathize with grammar nazis. I rarely am one myself, but if the error is particularly egregious I may call someone out.
Also, I generally thumb up buried comments. This is partially due to my passion for free speech and partially due to the fact that I enjoy being a contrarian.
I've also been known to troll every now and then.
If you're on this side of the ground, that makes it a good day! And if life throws you lemons, ask your God (or lack thereof) why they weren't sent instead to some guy on a desert island who is dying, since he's really thirsty and you just had a refreshing beverage a few moments ago.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
Wednesday 26 November 2014