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About DynamicDave : I'm here to enjoy the wittiness of others and occasionally contribute something worthwhile myself. I'm big on grammar, so I tend to sympathize with grammar nazis. I rarely am one myself, but if the error is particularly egregious I may call someone out.
Also, I generally thumb up buried comments. This is partially due to my passion for free speech and partially due to the fact that I enjoy being a contrarian.
I've also been known to troll every now and then.
If you're on this side of the ground, that makes it a good day! And if life throws you lemons, ask your God (or lack thereof) why they weren't sent instead to some guy on a desert island who is dying, since he's really thirsty and you just had a refreshing beverage a few moments ago.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (13107)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (5532)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3818) - you deserved it (19314)
On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18652) - you deserved it (4066)
On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7776) - you deserved it (841)
On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)
Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21044) - you deserved it (2123)
On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)
Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8095) - you deserved it (22951)
On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38205) - you deserved it (5163)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5894) - you deserved it (1005)
On 10/06/2011 at 6:11am - misc - by kansah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (8638)
On 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (9578)
On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7317) - you deserved it (14394)
On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26194) - you deserved it (5935)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24195) - you deserved it (3800)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (59893)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
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