Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Durka514

Search for a member

Durka514

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 142
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Durka514's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Durka514's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackas in an open-top sport car overtook us an flippd me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife looool rolld down her window, pulld out her tampon, an launchd it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrifid: me or him. FML

#19793582
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (4026)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

TODAY, MY BROTHER ASKD IF HE COULD BORROW MY RAZOR, SINCE HE RECENTLY HIT PUBERTY AN WANTD TO HAVE A SHAVE. I DECIDD TO BE NICE AN LET HIM. WHEN HE RETURND IT HALF AN HOUR LATER, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE HIS FACIAL HAIR WAS UNTOUCHD. FML

#14329924
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (7391)

On 12/25/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

looool I went wit ma family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned ouse !! We noticed te people ad left a lot of stuff biend so we loaded up te car wit books, records, etc !! As we were leaving, we saw te familyo lived tere drive up !! I robbed a ouse wit ma grandma !! FML

#12826740
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (45030)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

MY BOYFRIEND TOLD ME HE WAS SHOWING OFF PICTURES OF ME TO CO-WORKERS. IT WASN'T UNTIL LATER THAT HE SAID , "DON'T WORRY , THEY WERE OLD PICTURES , FROM WHEN U WERE HOT." THEY WERE FROM FOUR YEARS AGO. FML

#8271296
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24241) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by Vgameboi (man) - United States (California)

Today , my mom told ma sha was gatting trad of that small of marijuana in tha housa. So I confass and tall har I will navar bring it homa again. Sha was talking about my naighbors. FML

#4874504
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13410) - you deserved it (62472)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Dumbweed (man) - United States (New York)

TODAY... GIRLFRIEND WANTED TO NAME PENIS. AFTER 5 MINUTE OF THINKING UP NAMES... SHE FINALLY PICKED ONE. SAY HELLO TO SQUIRTLE. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67157) - you deserved it (15366)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Taday I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand an phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

#3414555
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44842) - you deserved it (20874)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - Sent from mobile version

Yesterday , I bit mah boyfriend's neck . I felt something squirt into mah mouth . Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck . Into mah mouth . big fat FML

#361047
1259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (682604) - you deserved it (458079)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: