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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (4979)
On 07/15/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Creep (woman) - United States (Puerto Rico)
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (26817)
On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35956) - you deserved it (2700)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105271) - you deserved it (5805)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105271) - you deserved it (5805)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16528) - you deserved it (39254)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21291) - you deserved it (3058)
On 07/11/2011 at 12:23am - kids - by MotherofET (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33711) - you deserved it (5615)
On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after 8 years in exceptionally difficult veterinarian classes which put me $200,000 in debt, and 7 months of job searching, I finally got a job. I will be inspecting feces for worms while making minimum wage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (3833)
On 07/09/2011 at 1:59am - work - by dsbass09 - United States (Florida)
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34020) - you deserved it (9476)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47671) - you deserved it (3593)
On 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm - love - by hatelife - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (2760)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22866) - you deserved it (5594)
On 05/19/2011 at 8:51am - misc - by awkwardd (man) - Hong Kong
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30702) - you deserved it (2184)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30702) - you deserved it (2184)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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