About DrewFluIngle : I love Die Antwoord cx
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DrewFluIngle's favorite FMLs
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
by analeis / 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by J Rush / 03/21/2012 at 7:46am / United Kingdom (Powys) / Health
by FoodyFood / 03/19/2012 at 12:59am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by afraidtoburn / 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML
by atsukobo / 02/23/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Love
by desperate905 / 02/21/2012 at 3:10am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy
by inked / 02/05/2012 at 12:54am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by beautifulme / 01/31/2012 at 1:22am / United States / Kids
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…