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Doritozilla

Offline (the 10/23/2014 at 12:03am) | Search for a member

Doritozilla

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 889
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Doritozilla : Hello! Welcome to my profile! Just know that I Like Doritos and I am quite random. Message me if you would like! Have a Fantastic, amazing, great day!

Doritozilla's page activity

Visits<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 12:11am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:30am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:56am<b>LeoBaee</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:53am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Jenny246844</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:41pm<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:01pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:58pm<b>mariluu</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 5:04pm<b>Tidus0</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:33pm<b>AusHos</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:40pm<b>karwank</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:10pm<b>cookycoconut</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:10am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:24pm<b>DaFunnyMa</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:07pm<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:32pm<b>CCzero</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:49am<b>ron88</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:53pm

Doritozilla's FML badges

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Checking you out

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Doritozilla's badges

Doritozilla's favorite FMLs

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44043) - you deserved it (9460)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

#21053635
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36733) - you deserved it (4179)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by fuckmyplums (man) - Austria (Salzburg)

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37726) - you deserved it (5210)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

#20985487
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43995) - you deserved it (5983)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm - health - by goingtothegym (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43472) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (6488)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38858) - you deserved it (3290)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

Today, my car broke down. My dad insisted he could fix it, but screwed up in the process. After finally getting the car towed to a mechanic, I was told that I'd only needed a new water pump, but thanks to the damage my dad did, fixing it all will cost me a small fortune. FML

#20870135
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38624) - you deserved it (3301)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:10pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54378) - you deserved it (3409)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43206) - you deserved it (6127)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States



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