About Doritozilla : Hello! Welcome to my profile! Just know that I am a person who is quite quiet, and I am quite random. Message me if you would like! Have a Fantastic, amazing, great day!
Doritozilla's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Doritozilla's favorite FMLs
by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
by streaker? / 11/27/2015 at 9:21am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2015 at 7:50am / United States (California) / Love
by I hate retail / 11/26/2015 at 9:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML
by damaged / 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
by missPiggy / 10/26/2015 at 4:27am / Norway / Work
Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML
by Shibs / 10/13/2015 at 12:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by NotDarkKnight / 10/07/2014 at 8:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML
by lolwut / 09/11/2014 at 2:33am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Crash / 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by angry girlfriend / 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML
by Dafuq happen there / 08/23/2014 at 3:34am / South Africa / Intimacy
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…