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Doppelganger10's favorite FMLs
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
by sadddddd / 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her… Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given… Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours…