Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DogsPaw

Search for a member

DogsPaw

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1372
  • Number of comments : 273
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About DogsPaw : Hiya you clicked on me for a reason.

Why did you click on me?

Now I either posted something completely stupid and you just had to see how someone so stupid could know how to work Fmylife.com

Well, I have ADHD or Aspergers one of those two... So the filter on my mouth is pretty much not there. Blame that not me!

Well that's me, oh and my name is Rikki!

DogsPaw's page activity

Visits<b>laytay101</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:54pm<b>ElinsVal</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:41am<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 5:34am<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:59am<b>sharkgirl4</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 1:44pm<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:57am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:58am<b>britbear122812</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:27pm<b>Mooish</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 9:42pm<b>missycanfly</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 7:55am<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 1:34pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 11:08pm<b>AFur</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 6:53am<b>mandacleary</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 3:59am<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 1:13pm<b>ltaper11</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 12:14am<b>thekingpit</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 10:28pm<b>Joli_Plus_God</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 3:30pm

DogsPaw's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of DogsPaw's badges

DogsPaw's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (2737)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (3308)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML

#19964945
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you deserved it (4285)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:45pm - health - by fxck (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

#19964691
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4306) - you deserved it (39125)

On 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

#19964470
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (2602)

On 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23351) - you deserved it (3107)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18040) - you deserved it (26313)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

#19962660
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (1688)

On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

#19962159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10138) - you deserved it (26003)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:47am - health - by fuuuuuh - United States (California)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34436) - you deserved it (3002)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

#19961879
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (1526)

On 07/20/2012 at 12:58am - work - by are you kidding me???? - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML

#19961052
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (2007)

On 07/19/2012 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

#19960444
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6196) - you deserved it (36296)

On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (5465)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: