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DeadHorseman

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DeadHorseman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3720
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DeadHorseman's favorite FMLs

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

#14532668
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19949) - you deserved it (7206)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

#14500845
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23815) - you deserved it (3535)

On 01/07/2011 at 8:31pm - work - by poop (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (5410)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

#14467697
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7576) - you deserved it (26362)

On 01/04/2011 at 9:44pm - animals - by BIZZMAL - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (7173)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

#14377824
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37104) - you deserved it (3759)

On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

#14368305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23484) - you deserved it (9272)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

#14356876
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (6241)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:52pm - love - by ohmy. - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35247) - you deserved it (7059)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

#14309461
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (2044)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:48am - misc - by Username - Canada

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (3350)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

#14242742
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22819) - you deserved it (2534)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:56am - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38483) - you deserved it (3342)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (7634)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, at the office, everyone in my department swapped secret santa presents. I bought the guy whose name I picked a DVD box-set of his favorite TV series. One of my friends got a fancy make up kit. Another got a pack of posh notebooks. I got a toilet plunger. FML

#14202172
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25920) - you deserved it (2725)

On 12/14/2010 at 1:02pm - misc - by hozzyandie (woman) - Ireland (Cork)



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