Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DeadHorseman

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

DeadHorseman

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6811
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

DeadHorseman's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 11:44pm<b>KelsiiMarie</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:43am<b>nebuer</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:04pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Shoebur</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:15am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:34pm<b>trickster91420</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:07pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:47am<b>HentaiGod</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:27pm<b>isorang</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:03pm<b>DragonHypeTrain</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:44am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:11am<b>AllSoul</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 8:42am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:39am<b>CDT97</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:05am<b>jackmaster2231</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:47pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 11:05pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm

DeadHorseman's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of DeadHorseman's badges

DeadHorseman's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

#14626510
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (4697)

On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (3389)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (3873) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17946) - you deserved it (43734) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

#14613102
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (3429) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (5813) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42700) - you deserved it (27634) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15163) - you deserved it (38169) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

#14608701
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (5929) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (7855)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34283) - you deserved it (3661)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML

#14584296
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (5008)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37148) - you deserved it (3519)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML

#14540407
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27445) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

#14532668
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (8331)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: