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DeadHorseman

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DeadHorseman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3686
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DeadHorseman's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

#15594331
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (4405)

On 04/01/2011 at 8:45pm - misc - by Groped (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (5075)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18700) - you deserved it (21115)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30111) - you deserved it (4689)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

#15531816
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36828) - you deserved it (5661)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Macedonia (Struga)

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

#15486650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7551) - you deserved it (49254)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42535) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

#15445630
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32164) - you deserved it (4398)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30054) - you deserved it (5664)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55208) - you deserved it (5983)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34975) - you deserved it (6704)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48011) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99606) - you deserved it (5896) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35332) - you deserved it (6150)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)



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