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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53167) - you deserved it (21670)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97032) - you deserved it (8079)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (44457)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45085) - you deserved it (14041)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6065) - you deserved it (47143)
On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version
Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8079) - you deserved it (44684)
On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (18390)
On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML
I agree, your life sucks (41889) - you deserved it (9790)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:54pm - love - by Anonymous -
Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41395) - you deserved it (26805)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:31am - intimacy - by rmL -
Monday 20 May 2013
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