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DeadHorseman

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DeadHorseman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3699
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DeadHorseman's favorite FMLs

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8899) - you deserved it (29417)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

#13220613
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/27/2010 at 9:09am - misc - by lovelife - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14520) - you deserved it (24072)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (11906)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8324) - you deserved it (29175)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML

#13164838
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13275) - you deserved it (22675)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:31am - money - by giantsfan2010 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

#13163125
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5614) - you deserved it (16967)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by joshualover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6995) - you deserved it (69106)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

#13118537
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13396) - you deserved it (37414)

On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

#13104906
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5859) - you deserved it (22071)

On 09/18/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML

#13102808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (2348)

On 09/18/2010 at 7:13pm - love - by fmldailyyy - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22740) - you deserved it (6669)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML

#12926482
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24185) - you deserved it (3437)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36160) - you deserved it (7382)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)



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