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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22316) - you deserved it (4829)
On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States
Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7218) - you deserved it (21303)
On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17601) - you deserved it (2412)
On 09/27/2010 at 9:09am - misc - by lovelife - United States
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12368) - you deserved it (18646)
On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (9562)
On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (3190)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7648) - you deserved it (23374)
On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11820) - you deserved it (18193)
On 09/23/2010 at 12:31am - money - by giantsfan2010 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5487) - you deserved it (16600)
On 09/22/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by joshualover (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6223) - you deserved it (64492)
On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11735) - you deserved it (34348)
On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5744) - you deserved it (21567)
On 09/18/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29255) - you deserved it (2313)
On 09/18/2010 at 7:13pm - love - by fmldailyyy - Ireland (Limerick)
Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (6625)
On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (441)
On 09/06/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Dakota)
Monday 17 June 2013
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