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DeadHorseman

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DeadHorseman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3706
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DeadHorseman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6861) - you deserved it (44845)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

#13766366
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39127) - you deserved it (7866)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm - misc - by beforegirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

#13741680
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18642) - you deserved it (20519)

On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

#13736205
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (4557)

On 11/06/2010 at 7:45am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

#13726348
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12603) - you deserved it (41223)

On 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm - kids - by lilmamma - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

#13718140
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24601) - you deserved it (8026)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

#13715432
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29086) - you deserved it (5181)

On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

#13711659
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31464) - you deserved it (15225)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I failed to get my drivers licence. My father was the instructor. FML

#13701806
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15050) - you deserved it (16656)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53960) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27535) - you deserved it (2420)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, everyone commented on how realistic my "fat suit" was. I didn't dress up for Halloween. FML

#13645035
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26169) - you deserved it (7239)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (1960)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (11261)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)



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