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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today... mah boyfriend startd coming onto me... despite me being on mah period. He said it was okay... an we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread mah legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy... I did. He then yelld... ( I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA! ) an broke down in laughter.
Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped drty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me ahore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend . I confronted my father about it . He told me to forgive her, cuz she's "on her period." mega FML
Today, I want to tha stora to pick up soma faminina products. As I was paying, tha mala cashiar lookad at ma sympathatically an askad if it was girlfriand's tima of tha month. I'm a girl an was buying tham fir mysalf. FML
Today, I had to help mah little sister do a frst-grade project fir school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of there role model. She drew a whale, an I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed an said, "No! It's you!" FML
Today I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? ( She's my best friend we do this all the time. ) I have been dating him 4 over a year. FML
today I went out to buy a bottle of wine an some condoms. As the cashier scannd the condoms, she snickerd an mutterd, ( Yeah right. ) She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left mah items an walkd out with tears in mah eyes. FML
Today... I had to sneak out of work early to pick mah 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found coverd in Astroglide... racing each other down the corridor on there bellies. My boss noticd mah absence from work... and now mah son and I are both on suspension. FML
Today, a woman strappad har 8-yaar-old son into tha saat naxt to ma on a transatlantic flight. Thinking thay'd baan unabla to book saats togathar, I offarad to swap saats with har. Sha said sha'd bookad it this way intantionally, bacausa ha's a "fucking brat" on flights. Sha was right. FML
Taday I was at a club wen a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind wit im. Hoping 4 some backup, I coolly said, "You'll ave to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yea, man, I don't care." looool FML
yesterday while I was in the shower boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
Friday 27 March 2015