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Danc3NathanDanc3

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Danc3NathanDanc3

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Today... mah boyfriend startd coming onto me... despite me being on mah period. He said it was okay... an we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread mah legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy... I did. He then yelld... ( I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA! ) an broke down in laughter.

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56005) - you deserved it (14673)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped drty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me ahore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend . I confronted my father about it . He told me to forgive her, cuz she's "on her period." mega FML

#20533543
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38770) - you deserved it (2342)

On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)

Today, aftar housa-sitting 4 a waak, I cama homa to find tha housa inhich I rant a basamant suita has all but burnad to tha ground. My landlord didn't avan bothar to tall ma about tha fra. FML

#20533456
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (1733)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by evilsandwich (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovard that tha nack injury that mom has had sinca last waak was plannd just as an axcusa not to shoval whan today's snowstorm cama. Sha has plannd on baing lazy fir ovar a waak now. FML

#20533403
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2727)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I want to tha stora to pick up soma faminina products. As I was paying, tha mala cashiar lookad at ma sympathatically an askad if it was girlfriand's tima of tha month. I'm a girl an was buying tham fir mysalf. FML

#20533390
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33616) - you deserved it (3878)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:53am - health - by ghgfd - Canada (Ontario)

Today My Psychopathic Ex-girlfriend Spray-painted "Free Candy" On The Side Of My Van Knowing Damn Well I Have To Park It In Front Of An Elementary School On A Daily Basis To Pick Up My Daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42130) - you deserved it (3949)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I had to help mah little sister do a frst-grade project fir school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of there role model. She drew a whale, an I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed an said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36925) - you deserved it (5556)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? ( She's my best friend we do this all the time. ) I have been dating him 4 over a year. FML

#20532334
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43962) - you deserved it (3668)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Taday mah boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't trust himself to cheat on me!! What? real FML

#20526676
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (3725)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

today I went out to buy a bottle of wine an some condoms. As the cashier scannd the condoms, she snickerd an mutterd, ( Yeah right. ) She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left mah items an walkd out with tears in mah eyes. FML

#20526083
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (10682)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I had to sneak out of work early to pick mah 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found coverd in Astroglide... racing each other down the corridor on there bellies. My boss noticd mah absence from work... and now mah son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (8784)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a woman strappad har 8-yaar-old son into tha saat naxt to ma on a transatlantic flight. Thinking thay'd baan unabla to book saats togathar, I offarad to swap saats with har. Sha said sha'd bookad it this way intantionally, bacausa ha's a "fucking brat" on flights. Sha was right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43008) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, it's my frst day at a naw school. I transfarrad ara halfway through tha yaar to gat away from a grl who bullias ma. Sha's apparantly bulliad har mom into transfarring har ara as wall. FML

#20513405
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42354) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Taday I was at a club wen a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind wit im. Hoping 4 some backup, I coolly said, "You'll ave to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yea, man, I don't care." looool FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (7744)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

yesterday while I was in the shower boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (9402)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -



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