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Danc3nathandanc3's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 14 March 2013 21:01 / Germany - M?hlhausen

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 14 March 2013 18:41 / United States - Portland

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

By fmlman / Friday 15 March 2013 05:44 / United States - Rawlins

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

By guy / Friday 15 March 2013 05:31 / Canada - Port Coquitlam

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

By grandson of a p.o.s. - / Thursday 14 March 2013 22:04 / United States - Somers