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CookiesGoMoo

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CookiesGoMoo

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  • Number of visits : 376
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CookiesGoMoo's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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CookiesGoMoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

#6884813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (41529)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (4757)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

#5910203
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42804) - you deserved it (5554)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#4728013
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38911) - you deserved it (5249)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (198749) - you deserved it (31494)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243522) - you deserved it (32119)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136834) - you deserved it (36848)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141800) - you deserved it (15930)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233800) - you deserved it (30988)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17307) - you deserved it (56140)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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