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CookiesGoMoo

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CookiesGoMoo

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  • Number of visits : 369
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CookiesGoMoo's FML badges

50 favourites

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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CookiesGoMoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32987) - you deserved it (2703)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (2655)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (8777)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (6005)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (5905)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9716) - you deserved it (33223)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55440) - you deserved it (9858)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

#19023656
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (4117)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:17am - love - by daughterofanazi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32987) - you deserved it (5671)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

#18907023
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24235) - you deserved it (5818)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35279) - you deserved it (4741)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28051) - you deserved it (4236)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9013) - you deserved it (43501)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML

#16116610
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43230) - you deserved it (5436) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/10/2011 at 10:56am - kids - by Hahapasdroleleptit - France



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