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CookiesGoMoo

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CookiesGoMoo

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  • Number of visits : 406
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CookiesGoMoo's FML badges

50 favourites

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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CookiesGoMoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49436) - you deserved it (7998)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22497) - you deserved it (66076)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35067) - you deserved it (7599)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20356) - you deserved it (51085)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50610) - you deserved it (6161)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48973) - you deserved it (3130)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35254) - you deserved it (8966)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (6079)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37934) - you deserved it (4317)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34677) - you deserved it (3841)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48320) - you deserved it (5997)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40867) - you deserved it (4759)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

#20537793
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (37056)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

#20536189
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (3549)

On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)



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