Contra

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Contra

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26409
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Contra : From ze England.

Contra's page activity

Visits<b>JZAMORA777</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 6:55am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:47pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:46pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:14pm<b>TheRandomGurf</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:08am<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:46pm<b>DietKola</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:44pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:40am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:11pm<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:22pm<b>tcain2776</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 10:21pm<b>ct2k7</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:51pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:20pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:03am<b>cosmon</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 9:18am<b>mandyreid_</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 7:02pm<b>WickedMilly</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 4:11pm

Contra's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Contra's favorite FMLs

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

by Dansonn / 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

by SwedishBozo / 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

by nthor / 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

by Can't Spell Worth A Damn / 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

by tryena / 02/28/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Idaho) / Kids

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

by Morgan / 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids