Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Contra

Search for a member

Contra

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25817
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Contra : From ze England.

Contra's page activity

Visits<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:14pm<b>TheRandomGurf</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:08am<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:46pm<b>DietKola</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:44pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:40am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:11pm<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:22pm<b>tcain2776</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 10:21pm<b>ct2k7</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:51pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:20pm<b>cosmon</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 9:18am<b>mandyreid_</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 7:02pm<b>WickedMilly</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 4:11pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 2:53am<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:53pm<b>ashley207</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 2:59am<b>megg07</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 7:18pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 12:27pm

Contra's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Contra's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (215346) - you deserved it (27944)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

#402387
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (180708) - you deserved it (9109)

On 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm - work - by Dansonn (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (288522)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

#271640
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11673) - you deserved it (128152)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55456) - you deserved it (17735)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (36940)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (478423) - you deserved it (45937)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17295) - you deserved it (83516)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33148) - you deserved it (2568)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: