Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Contra

Search for a member

Contra

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26306
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Contra : From ze England.

Contra's page activity

Visits<b>JZAMORA777</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 6:55am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:47pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:46pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:14pm<b>TheRandomGurf</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:08am<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:46pm<b>DietKola</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:44pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:40am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:11pm<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:22pm<b>tcain2776</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 10:21pm<b>ct2k7</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:51pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:20pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:03am<b>cosmon</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 9:18am<b>mandyreid_</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 7:02pm<b>WickedMilly</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 4:11pm

Contra's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Contra's favorite FMLs

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

#402387
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (195532) - you deserved it (10306)

On 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm - work - by Dansonn (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (315973)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

#271640
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13957) - you deserved it (137875)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60285) - you deserved it (18891)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (40238)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (519196) - you deserved it (51208)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (89631)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (2917)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: