Clitastrophe

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Clitastrophe

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1683
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Clitastrophe : I have a clit that causes catastrophes. Thus my name. Hehe, just kiddin'.
My life is fucked, but I have never felt the need to bitch about it to the world. Why these people do is beyond me. Maybe their lives are just more fucked.

I would die for my best bitch, Kiki, and I lurves my boyfriend, even though he has a tendency to talk in third-person. We're working on that, though ;)

Clitastrophe's page activity

Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:40pm<b>chrisfromCanada</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 12:34am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:39pm<b>nutinbuttkatze</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 8:36pm<b>TheSebsFilms</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:08pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:49pm<b>sythe511</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 8:37pm<b>bluejayfan02</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:44pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 1:30pm<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 1:30pm<b>annabrandl</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 5:32am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:02pm<b>kayhew</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:34pm<b>ekimen</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 5:07am<b>drake1138</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:31am<b>172pilot</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:00pm

Fucked!<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 4:40am<b>TheSebsFilms</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:09pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:21am

Clitastrophe's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Clitastrophe's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

by dumped / 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

by ravestradamus / 10/12/2009 at 8:34am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

by kitkat545 / 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

by Jeremy / 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy