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Clitastrophe

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Clitastrophe
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 May 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1191
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Clitastrophe : I have a clit that causes catastrophes. Thus my name. Hehe, just kiddin'.
My life is fucked, but I have never felt the need to bitch about it to the world. Why these people do is beyond me. Maybe their lives are just more fucked.

I would die for my best bitch, Kiki, and I lurves my boyfriend, even though he has a tendency to talk in third-person. We're working on that, though ;)

Clitastrophe's last visitors

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Clitastrophe's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Clitastrophe's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69672) - you deserved it (5462)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

#6035910
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (4774)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

#6028042
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39068) - you deserved it (1696)

On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

#5793265
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14649) - you deserved it (17389)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55714) - you deserved it (5996)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47463) - you deserved it (13021)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

#2919658
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (35523)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

#1791192
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (76824)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (56696)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (448872) - you deserved it (25560)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)



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