About Cleao18317 :
I had this great bio before, but then it somehow got deleted. I don't really remember what it said...
So here's some small basics:
I play soccer, and pretty much live for the sport
I'm not a grammar Nazi, but prefer to spell words and punctuate correctly
I hardly comment because I usually read the FML's late or I don't have anything decent to say(Even if I comment, it probably won't be decent.)
You've been warned.
Message me anything you want, I use the website as well as the app.
About Cleao18317 :
Cleao18317's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Cleao18317's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm / Miscellaneous
by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML
by Dor51 / 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by nearly a crazy lady / 08/12/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML
by youfuckingslut / 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm / United States / Money
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Addison / 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/17/2012 at 4:50am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by moorox45 / 01/16/2012 at 12:10pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I received a late Christmas present from my estranged father. I was really excited, having neither seen nor heard from him in nearly two years. It was a $200 gift card for a store that only exists in Canada. I don't live in Canada. Not even close. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and… Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that… Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw…