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Cindonia's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML
by tkghan / 08/02/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML
by Crazy Mom / 06/10/2013 at 1:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anoymous / 06/09/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm / Romania (Buzau) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML
by lalalaisling / 05/08/2013 at 12:21pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
by Sirah90 / 05/07/2013 at 3:29am / United States / Intimacy
by Alone / 05/06/2013 at 10:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
by me / 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip…