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ChickenLegs937's FML badges
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I agree, their lives suck
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ChickenLegs937's favorite FMLs
Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML
by 3Airwalk3 / 02/16/2010 at 12:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by utensils123 / 02/09/2010 at 1:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by iKaite / 01/15/2010 at 2:56am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML
by lifesux / 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
by Kelly / 12/26/2009 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. Instead of taking me home like he told me he was going to, he pulled up to the gas station, gave me $6, and asked me to go pay. As soon as I walked inside, he threw my bag out the door, and drove off. FML
by dayumm_shawtyy / 12/20/2009 at 8:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Fmyoffice / 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/19/2009 at 4:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
by Grad2010 / 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by iheartvodka / 11/07/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee of the store to have a key to open. After I took off one dress to go to another, an employee quickly opens my door, to give the stall to someone else. The entire store could see me in my granny panties and bra. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 10:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML
by pummy / 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
by shushingmoon / 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Money
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…