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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31265) - you deserved it (2529)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36865) - you deserved it (5065)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (3866)
On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39706) - you deserved it (3108)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38910) - you deserved it (2127)
On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43849) - you deserved it (9420)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62166) - you deserved it (5226)
On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38618) - you deserved it (3270)
On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17026) - you deserved it (45923)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60164) - you deserved it (5770)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33539) - you deserved it (2453)
On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29263) - you deserved it (2723)
On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21864) - you deserved it (3928)
On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12755) - you deserved it (5197)
On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20522) - you deserved it (350772)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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