About Celesta : I'm a simple girl from Kuwait, very easy going. I don't expect a lot from people. Love to live life to its fullest!
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Celesta's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
by Mike / 03/21/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML
by justanaccount / 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm / Spain (Madrid) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML
by beachbum / 02/27/2009 at 1:03am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
by madfather / 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
by JLoistheBomb / 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Lars / 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by crazyvulva9216 / 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML
by ohn0es / 01/23/2009 at 5:45am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
by anx133 / 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm / China (Shanghai) / Health
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, my house has an infestation of beetles. I got up during the night, so put on my slippers to… Today, in the middle of the night I went to bathroom. As I got up my bed my girlfriend was talking… Today, the guy I've been with for 4 years chose hard drugs over me and our daughter. Happy birthday…