Celesta

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Offline (the 11/07/2015 at 12:17am)

Celesta

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5013
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Celesta : I'm a simple girl from Kuwait, very easy going. I don't expect a lot from people. Love to live life to its fullest!

Celesta's page activity

Visits<b>vincentjules</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:56pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 3:48am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 12:42am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 9:02pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 10:59pm<b>HoboRain</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 5:59am<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:21am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:35pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 3:15pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 1:21pm<b>dbpdp</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 4:11am<b>getindoe69</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:59am<b>QueenOfSuppness</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:34am<b>SaeidPd</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:41pm<b>VitalDistance</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:13pm<b>MrPigg</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:24pm<b>katjas</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 2:57pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:37pm

Fucked!<b>jondillboy</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:18am

Celesta's FML badges

Profile completed

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Celesta's badges

Celesta's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

by joedoe / 07/18/2009 at 2:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

by wtf / 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

by Soapy / 06/28/2009 at 3:23am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML

by traveller / 04/13/2009 at 6:45am / United States (New Mexico) / Holidays

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy