Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 08/02/2015 at 10:00pm) | Search for a member
About Carebeareatu : Ooooh gurl, are you my GPA? Because I know I can do better but I'm too lazy to try.
I'm 19, and in love with modification. Piercings•Tattoos• ect... I play a lot of fps games and rpg, but have an undying love for retro gaming. I work at an animal shelter, and foster abandoned kittens 6 weeks and under (: I love meetin and talking to new people so Hmu!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
Friday 5 February 2016