Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Canuck13

Search for a member

Canuck13
  • Town/Country : St. Catharines , Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2708
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Canuck13 : Meh....

Canuck13's last visitors

crimsonlover4JAL10960Thursdayxothenick_mstl_88Doritozillakeepkeepzooobes5t3ff1k4h

Canuck13's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Canuck13's badges

Canuck13's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23202) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (1917)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (6157)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

#20091884
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18562) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:09am - love - by unhappy wifey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (23914)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (1908)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (4406)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7519) - you deserved it (18880)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (977)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17080) - you deserved it (22226)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23860) - you deserved it (4143)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

#20054504
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (6203)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the "vines" I was cutting down this morning were actually poison oak. I can only see out of one eye, and I'm virtually unrecognizable due to the facial swelling. FML

#20052545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14993) - you deserved it (2434)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:37pm - health - by merissa22 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (5864)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: