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Canuck13's favorite FMLs
by gassy / 01/07/2013 at 10:40am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
by shattysituation / 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Work
Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 2:58am / United States / Work
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
by avoid the sour cream / 12/30/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Work
by Wtf is wrong with her / 12/30/2012 at 12:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by gassy / 12/29/2012 at 4:32am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
by Ren / 12/28/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy
by CambodianAsshole / 12/25/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Julie / 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart.…