About Canuck13 : Meh....
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Canuck13's favorite FMLs
by AlonsoKold / 07/25/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by broken finger / 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Thanks Honey / 06/05/2013 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
by poisonivyretard / 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
by samaram / 06/04/2013 at 2:47am / United States / Health
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Health
by Abrams52 / 05/28/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML
by Cristoforo / 05/25/2013 at 4:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous