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Canuck13's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML
by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML
by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous
by crap / 01/17/2014 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
by shakinmahbuttbutt / 01/12/2014 at 2:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/14/2013 at 7:48pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by pootie / 12/11/2013 at 8:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by the_lameo_geek / 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
by heyhijello / 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous