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Burrito111's FML badges
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Burrito111's favorite FMLs
Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
by Rachal / 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by wish.was.single / 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/24/2012 at 5:39am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend told me we've just been fuck buddies for the entire year we've been "together." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't working up the courage to propose to her on our anniversary. FML
by anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 10:59am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
by Ouch / 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
by atleese / 12/31/2011 at 10:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by KrissyBearr / 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by ;)loganberry(; / 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm / United States (Montana) / Intimacy
by ikungfuyou / 12/27/2011 at 2:11am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy
Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to… Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing… Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't…
- Today, I found out that my nausea is caused by the medication I have to take. The medication I have… Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, and I couldn't be happier. Not even two hours later, my… Today, I was doing gymnastics with my friends out on a field after school. While doing a handstand,…