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Burrito111

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Burrito111
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 April 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1249
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Burrito111's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (9357)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

#18907383
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by wish.was.single (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21669) - you deserved it (6488)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39060) - you deserved it (3206)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me we've just been fuck buddies for the entire year we've been "together." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't working up the courage to propose to her on our anniversary. FML

#18889421
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36852) - you deserved it (4066)

On 01/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (3886)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

#18864460
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (7695)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

#18811404
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27430) - you deserved it (6185)

On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (20627)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12959) - you deserved it (24530)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (8919)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8060) - you deserved it (33159)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

#18622040
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34348) - you deserved it (9033)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

#18609988
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30026) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

#18599933
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42271) - you deserved it (5436)

On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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