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Burrito111

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Burrito111

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1568
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Burrito111's page activity

Visits<b>DejonE</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 2:07am

Burrito111's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Burrito111's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (4903)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (52450) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16464) - you deserved it (43117)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

#19180837
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (6084)

On 02/28/2012 at 6:55am - love - by Susan - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34023) - you deserved it (4979)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37995) - you deserved it (5607)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26151) - you deserved it (4049)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

#19121562
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29373) - you deserved it (5832)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (4624)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45475) - you deserved it (3896)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26972) - you deserved it (5036)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27862) - you deserved it (3007)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#19013163
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34086) - you deserved it (2382)

On 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm - love - by Nanabanana1 (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30354) - you deserved it (5221)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41714) - you deserved it (9087)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)



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