Burrito111

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Burrito111

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3190
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Burrito111's page activity

Visits<b>DejonE</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 2:07am

Burrito111's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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Burrito111's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

by Susan / 02/28/2012 at 6:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

by Gabi / 02/20/2012 at 9:23am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

by dummy / 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

by kittens go meow / 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

by Nanabanana1 / 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm / United States / Love

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

by me / 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy