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Burrito111

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Burrito111

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2019
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Burrito111's page activity

Visits<b>DejonE</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 2:07am

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Burrito111's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (10038)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

#19871781
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6563) - you deserved it (20769)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by rs (woman) - Egypt

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (5087)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I realized I say "sorry" more than anything else during sex with my girlfriend. FML

#19869749
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (8750)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:21am - intimacy - by mpsteve137 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

#19867617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11843) - you deserved it (15113)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (6049)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (3205)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML

#19865448
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (25261)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:30am - work - by xxccruzxx - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23058) - you deserved it (4226)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15634) - you deserved it (27696)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML

#19860254
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (2590)

On 06/28/2012 at 11:28am - love - by FMlovelife (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (4285)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (3040)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

#19853880
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (8977)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:58am - intimacy - by maggie74 - United States (Connecticut)



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