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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3789
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Burrito111's page activity

Visits<b>DejonE</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 2:07am

Burrito111's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Burrito111's badges

Burrito111's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

by tapeissticky591 / 07/14/2012 at 1:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

by shorty4 / 07/13/2012 at 10:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML

by LonelyShowers / 07/04/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

by Jenna / 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

by bob / 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my new boss gave everyone a lecture about sexual harassment in the workplace. Which would be fine if he'd been able to tear his gaze off my chest for more than a minute at a time. FML

by hypocrite / 07/03/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

by spiderfail / 07/03/2012 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

by emi / 07/01/2012 at 12:30am / Animals

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 12:22am / Love