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Burrito111

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Burrito111
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 April 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1248
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Burrito111's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

#17322871
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (13659)

On 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by username (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35433) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (21187)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35052) - you deserved it (11391)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, my new iPhone was stolen from my school locker. After canceling my service, sobbing, having my mom yell at the secretary for their lack of security and finally agreeing to change to a private school, I found it in the corner of my locker. FML

#16583197
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8613) - you deserved it (71122)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

#16233240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (18273)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:15am - intimacy - by thoughtitwasspecial (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

#15522363
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43152) - you deserved it (3460)

On 03/27/2011 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

#15113643
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

#15091892
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (3326)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

#14297992
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36166) - you deserved it (3476)

On 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by screwed (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML

#14195303
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11771) - you deserved it (44164)

On 12/13/2010 at 9:01pm - love - by blahblah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML

#13601859
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (3858)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19210) - you deserved it (6246)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (3035)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)



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