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Offline (the 09/01/2015 at 11:38pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1484
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About BruisedGiraffe : Not much to say, I'm a reclusive guy. I been on here a while but rarely comment.

BruisedGiraffe's page activity

Visits<b>tweak2011</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:30pm<b>Bustedbutsilent</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 5:14pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:50pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 11:17am<b>imerichello</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:12pm<b>facelick</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:00am<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:00pm<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:19pm<b>moneymuffen</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:59am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 12:59pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 3:08pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 11:20pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:36pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 8:04am<b>miianah1</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:56pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:14pm<b>chance12497</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:00pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:48am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:24pm

BruisedGiraffe's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of BruisedGiraffe's badges

BruisedGiraffe's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

by killmenow / 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

by hero to zero / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML

by gerligrl97 / 06/12/2011 at 2:50pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

by kringr / 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

by e_edge / 06/05/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

by Flarewolf / 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML

by AntiBobTheBuilder / 03/02/2011 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

by Ryan / 02/07/2010 at 9:18am / Work

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

by liveforpeace_ / 04/28/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy