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BruisedGiraffe

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BruisedGiraffe
  • Town/Country : Secret Giraffe Den #1401, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 624
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About BruisedGiraffe : Not much to say, I'm a reclusive guy. I been on here a while but rarely comment.

BruisedGiraffe's last visitors

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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BruisedGiraffe's favorite FMLs

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (6528)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16039) - you deserved it (65357)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9981) - you deserved it (25341)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

#17302566
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (12866)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

#16972351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (11791)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by hero to zero - United States (New York)

Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML

#16628583
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46883) - you deserved it (10772)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by gerligrl97 - United States

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9763) - you deserved it (111465)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37620) - you deserved it (7868)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13256) - you deserved it (40762)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML

#15170872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (2036)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:22am - work - by AntiBobTheBuilder (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27629) - you deserved it (2948)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (192084) - you deserved it (9118)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201611) - you deserved it (19797)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (224517) - you deserved it (23087)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

#530298
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (211919) - you deserved it (13461)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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