About BruisedGiraffe : Not much to say, I'm a reclusive guy. I been on here a while but rarely comment.
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BruisedGiraffe's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
by killmenow / 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
by hero to zero / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
by gerligrl97 / 06/12/2011 at 2:50pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
by kringr / 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by e_edge / 06/05/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Flarewolf / 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by AntiBobTheBuilder / 03/02/2011 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
by liveforpeace_ / 04/28/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…