Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BntyHntrSeattle

Online | Search for a member

BntyHntrSeattle

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7758
  • Number of comments : 560
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 86 posted

About BntyHntrSeattle : I play piano. That's me :)

BntyHntrSeattle's page activity

Visits<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:57pm<b>Silvercat15</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:40am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:58am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:35pm<b>unknownsilver</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:35am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:27pm<b>BlueOcelot</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:56am<b>moophasa</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Participation</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:52pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:40pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:20pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:50pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:00am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:44pm<b>possiblyapotato</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:53pm<b>akrolaser</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:32pm

Fucked!<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:35am<b>BlueOcelot</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:54am<b>roman11</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:08am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:17am<b>SEROKE</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:06am<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:46am

BntyHntrSeattle's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of BntyHntrSeattle's badges

BntyHntrSeattle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40347) - you deserved it (7647)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (16484)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

#20999870
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51264) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I have such an irrational fear of the noise my smoke detector makes when it goes off, that dying in my sleep from smoke inhalation or carbon monoxide poisoning sounds absolutely peachy by comparison. FML

#20990951
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (5667)

On 12/13/2013 at 2:55am - health - by TheLadyOpal (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65204) - you deserved it (5412)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39743) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (2917)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37454) - you deserved it (6350)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41573) - you deserved it (3776)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54740) - you deserved it (6925)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

#20917563
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44104) - you deserved it (3594)

On 10/12/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44010) - you deserved it (7535)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50644) - you deserved it (6810)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44171) - you deserved it (3448)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: