About BntyHntrSeattle : I play piano. That's me :)
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You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
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Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13486) - you deserved it (6062)
On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19816) - you deserved it (3799)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13916) - you deserved it (25282)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10050) - you deserved it (29158)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9618) - you deserved it (16243)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:24am - work - by zomg - United States (Florida)
Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12656) - you deserved it (3649)
On 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16797) - you deserved it (4165)
On 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20715) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17550) - you deserved it (1121)
On 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (1325)
On 04/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (1878)
On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (2039)
On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)
Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (2262)
On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (4698)
On 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm - animals - by dcort - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (4321)
On 04/08/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by jess - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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