Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BntyHntrSeattle

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

BntyHntrSeattle

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5225
  • Number of comments : 540
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 85 posted

About BntyHntrSeattle : I play piano. That's me :)

BntyHntrSeattle's page activity

Visits<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:46pm<b>atak12</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:00pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:00pm<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:39am<b>Jenra</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 1:49am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:34pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:31pm<b>RATEthisAPP</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:43pm<b>dinsmello</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:02am<b>spursunited</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:33pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 9:48am<b>_u7m</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:50am<b>westmall21</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 6:51pm<b>stargazer091</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:32pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:42am<b>Zevulon</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:18am<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:08pm

Liked!<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - yesterday at 5:46am

BntyHntrSeattle's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of BntyHntrSeattle's badges

BntyHntrSeattle's favorite FMLs

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79454) - you deserved it (7233)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42629) - you deserved it (6404)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

#20738647
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46103) - you deserved it (4420)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47082) - you deserved it (4788)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43167) - you deserved it (6640)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49963) - you deserved it (5001)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

#20718430
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41755) - you deserved it (4054)

On 06/10/2013 at 10:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54901) - you deserved it (5352)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54901) - you deserved it (5352)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56994) - you deserved it (9866)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

#20704962
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46550) - you deserved it (5639)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82183) - you deserved it (3496)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46322) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (8795)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: