Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BntyHntrSeattle

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

BntyHntrSeattle

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7377
  • Number of comments : 560
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 86 posted

About BntyHntrSeattle : I play piano. That's me :)

BntyHntrSeattle's page activity

Visits<b>BlueOcelot</b> - 3 hours ago<b>moophasa</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Participation</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:52pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:40pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:20pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:50pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:00am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:52am<b>possiblyapotato</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:53pm<b>akrolaser</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:32pm<b>nicktrelos</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:33pm<b>wnrjoker</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:57pm<b>Lady8ird85</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:25am<b>s0728</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:01am<b>DarthTaco351</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:31am

Fucked!<b>BlueOcelot</b> - yesterday at 9:54am<b>roman11</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:08am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:17am<b>SEROKE</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:06am<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:46am

BntyHntrSeattle's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of BntyHntrSeattle's badges

BntyHntrSeattle's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39050) - you deserved it (3996)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (4239)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my wife and I drove two hours from our rural town to buy a new sofa. When we got home, it took us an hour to figure out there was no way to fit it through our door. We made the two hour drive back to return it, only to find the store was closed. FML

#21308507
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29252) - you deserved it (9090)

On 11/30/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by davy0540 - United States

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37849) - you deserved it (4292)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (3537)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (2339)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

#21299049
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (4590)

On 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm - health - by gspotter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

#21293883
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (3579)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by all shat out - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33909) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35047) - you deserved it (2741)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19485) - you deserved it (37708)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38255) - you deserved it (2569)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (2477)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: