About Blixamarkham : I have been a lurker for a really long time and am deciding to take the plunge to join the community!
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Blixamarkham's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
by only my life / 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML
by Coryj1220 / 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML
by deargodthepain / 02/02/2014 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML
by fuckface? I wish / 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
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