Blixamarkham

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Blixamarkham

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 520
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Blixamarkham : I have been a lurker for a really long time and am deciding to take the plunge to join the community!

Blixamarkham's page activity

Visits<b>ImSlight</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:12pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:47am<b>PierceTheSirensq</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:48am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 8:39am<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 1:21am<b>arandomtacotree</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 3:43pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 9:52am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 4:54pm<b>CrikOgresmasher</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 12:07pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:11am<b>Cynicah</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:40pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 11:33pm<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:31pm<b>rockaroths</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:44pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 8:00am<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 5:46pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:36pm<b>mzhaze</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:51am

Blixamarkham's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Blixamarkham's badges

Blixamarkham's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

by only my life / 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

by Coryj1220 / 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

by deargodthepain / 02/02/2014 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

by fuckface? I wish / 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous