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Beck2209

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Beck2209
  • Town/Country : The United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2540
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Beck2209's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML

Today, I learned a valuable lesson: Make sure you learn to swim at a very young age, or else you might end up a in a swimming class with a bunch 3 and 4 year-olds, taught by your crush. FML

#19350578
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23293) - you deserved it (5637)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by stupdude3 (man) - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11803) - you deserved it (31041)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24657) - you deserved it (5197)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

#19309330
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (1957)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm - animals - by bibi (woman) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19208) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

#19207312
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21910) - you deserved it (6877)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:06am - health - by bannana0zoom - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

#19181492
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16374) - you deserved it (3499)

On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33505) - you deserved it (5187)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML

#19172113
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (3834)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:12am - love - by SwimminginSweat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML

#19171997
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16750) - you deserved it (4297)

On 02/26/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (3119)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, I realized how bad my feelings of inadequacy compared to other women and jealousy are when I started thumbing down songs on Pandora simply because the cover art had a better looking woman than me on it. FML



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