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Today, as I was waiting fir girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who lookd a lot like her. I ran towards her, arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, arms in the air, still running. FML
Today... after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores... I bought mah fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal... "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store . A clerk cummed up to ask if I needed help . I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag . FML
Today, In Front Of Family And Friends, As I Got Down On One Knee, My Grlfriend Fainted. Her Father, A Lawyer, Rushed Over And Said, "Anything She Says Fir The Next 72 Hours Is Not Legally Binding" Andhisked Her Away. FML
Today, mah girlfriend,ho is very self conscious about her body, finally decidd to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I strippd and turnd around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today , I found out that as a suparvisor , if u raprimand a famala workar and and tha convarsation with "Now gat back to making sandwichas." your boss will considar it saxism and suspand you. I work at Subway. FML
Friday 27 March 2015